- Yesterday I saw two women in a car. Each of them were smoking a cigarette. The license plate on the car was promoting Breast Cancer Awareness. I guess lung cancer is not a top priority for them.
- My sister called the other day and tried to be sarcastic. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I was doing laundry. She then asked if I was still sleeping until 2PM every day. She called me at 1PM. I guess the joke was on her.
- I was on the phone with tech support about my cable service. The agent said he would have to send someone out to take a look at our lines. He said they were very flexible with times and could make it convenient for me. He then asked if the next morning was good, which was a Saturday. I told him no one would be at home and asked if it was OK to send someone that Monday. He said that might be a problem. What happened to being flexible? I had to stay home that Saturday to make it convenient for them.
- I had a cocktail party at the house the other night. My play brother, Cory, was under doctor’s orders and could not drink any alcohol. He decided to berate the rest of us, saying we didn’t know how to have a good time without drinking. He was turning over a new leaf. I asked him if he was going to be a spoilsport at our New Year’s Eve party. He said he was going to be too busy getting drunk to worry about what everyone else was doing.
- My mom called to wish me happy birthday. She called the day after my birthday. When I confronted her on this, she wanted to know why I had a problem. She was only a day late. No wonder I have acceptance issues.
Contradictions (or things that make you say WTF)
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