I consider myself to be a pretty good writer. I like to think I have a certain knack for expressing myself via the written word. Back in the day, I was an avid letter writer. To my chagrin, however, the art of letter writing is all but extinct these days. There was a time when, if you wrote someone a letter with a pen and paper, put it in an envelope and dropped it in the mailbox, you could actually expect to receive a written reply. Sometimes, you would get lucky and get about a 2 page reply AND a Polaroid. Imagine that.
Ah, the good ole days. Nowadays, it’s all about a quick email or text. Or even worse, a Facebook or Twitter message. I know I’m not one to talk, though. I’m the queen of texting. Sometimes you just don’t feel like talking.
So writing is my thing. Public speaking–not so much. I’m not exactly fearful of speaking in public. I don’t break out in a sweat and get cotton mouth like some folks. I actually have to credit my mother for forcing me to read poems and announcements in church. From the time I could actually read, there was rarely a Sunday that I wasn’t standing up there babbling on about something. So I’m pretty comfortable in front of a crowd. Thing is, when you’re reading a paper in church, it’s a little bit more acceptable to actually “read” the paper. Church folks don’t expect you to memorize anything. A quick peek out into the congregation every few seconds usually suffices.
What I want to be able to do is get up in front of an audience and deliver an Obama-like speech. Something that wows. At the end of my speech, I want my audience to be standing there with their mouths wide open, catching flies, as I turn away from the podium with a flourish and exit stage left. Once they are able to speak, all they’ll be able to say is, “Damn, she’s good.”
I imagine it to be something like the scene in Coming to America. When the band, Sexual Chocolate, finishes performing, the leader drops the mic, stomps his foot, screams, “Give it up for Sexual Chocolate,” and walks off the stage. He does this in a way that suggests they had just delivered the best damn performance there ever was. That audience was not so impressed, but this is my fantasy. My audience will be mesmerized.
So to help step up my speaking game, I accompanied hubby to a Toastmasters meeting the other day. He has been attending on and off for a while, but I never bothered going. I’ve always felt I could “get by.” Lately, however, I’ve been thinking about the day when I will have to speak about or conduct readings of the best selling novel I have yet to write. Just “getting by” likely won’t cut it when you’re trying to convince folks to buy your book. When people sign up for these things, they tend to want to be engaged. Amazed even. I don’t want Oprah daydreaming on me.
I must say I was very impressed with the club meeting we attended. Toastmasters is a well respected organization that has been around since 1924, according to their website. Suffice it to say, I was prepared to be thoroughly intimidated. I was pleasantly surprised.
Prior to going, I had grilled hubby about the procedure for guests. Would I be thrown into the lion’s den and expect to be called to the front of the room and give a 2 minute trial speech? Of course I did not want this to happen. I wanted to sit back and observe. Get a feel for it. Hubby assured me that is exactly what I would be able to do. He promised I wouldn’t even be approached until after the meeting was over. Great. Let’s do this.
I sauntered into the room and was heading straight for the back. Whoa. Not so fast. I was literally accosted by about 5 pairs of hands and bright smiles immediately upon entering.
“Hello! How are you? Are you new here? Welcome!”
WTH?
What happened to me being able to slide to the back of the room and hang out incognito? I didn’t even bother to look back at hubby. Besides, he was too busy grinning and shaking hands. Of my many skills, filing things away for later ranks at the top. I would deal with him later.
Luckily, I’m a pretty sociable person, so it didn’t throw me off to be greeted this way. Everything was all hyper and high energy. Although this type of environment tends to annoy me, I fell right in. My hands were literally sore from all the clapping by the time we left out of there.
Instead of sitting in the back, I was ushered to the center of the room to sit next to a seasoned member so I could be shown the ropes. Instead of just observing, I was chosen to be the ballot collector. Instead of not speaking at all, at the beginning of the meeting, I was asked to introduce myself and tell a little bit about why I joined. At the end, I was asked to share my thoughts about the meeting. Oh yeah, that thing about having to go to the front of the room? As a ballot collector, I was required to go up and announce the winners of each speech category. So much for hubby’s analogy of this being a spectator sport for first-timers.
But you know, I couldn’t even be mad at him after it was all said and done. I learned a few things in that meeting. I realized I’m not that far off from a future of great orating. Most of all, I really enjoyed myself. Somehow being put on the spot helped ease any nervous feelings I might have had.
I figure by the time I’m done training, I’ll be ready for my big debut.
“Give it up for the 8th girl!”
You can close your mouth now.
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